


Reflexive

by Shift7



Series: Ineffable Bureaucracy [12]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Ineffable Bureaucracy (Good Omens), Multi, Other, good omens - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-11-27 18:28:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20952950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shift7/pseuds/Shift7
Summary: Beelzebub walked out of the front of the main office building into the bright sunlight, looked up, squinted, and then proceeded to sneeze.





	Reflexive

**Author's Note:**

> Shout out to anyone who suffers from sun sneezing. 
> 
> It's also called Autosomal Compelling Helio-Ophthalmic Outburst (ACHOO) syndrome, which I find particularly hilarious.

Hell was cold and Hell was dingy but more than anything else, Hell was dim. 

The dimness was not by choice, but rather the result of negligence. It was not something the management gave two shits about. If an order was given to replace a lightbulb, it safe to assume it was a punishment for those involved. Hell was a dumping ground for rotting, broken, outdated things so even finding something that was still in one piece was its own special challenge. If managed, by some miracle, to acquire an unbroken bulb, there was an 85% chance it wouldn’t fit the socket and the searching would have to start all over again.

So darkness was preferred. It did, admittedly, allow greater ease of skulking and stalking and making deals away from prying eyes. Some Demons even went so far as to adapt aspect characteristics that thrived in lack of light.

All of this meant, as a result, that Beelzebub was not accustomed to brightness in their day to day. Particularly sunlight.

They walked out of the front of the main office building into the bright sunlight, looked up, squinted, and then proceeded to sneeze.

“Bless you,” came a reply from behind them as Gabriel walked out of the same door, engrossed in some new review form they had been planning to go over.

“Ga-” They started to say before sneezing again, louder this time.

“Bless you,” He looked over at them. “I know we don’t normally meet right at the front door, but is it standard for you to have, erm... _fits_ every time?”

“Itzz beca--” They began to explain but couldn’t get two words out before they sneezed again.

“Bless you,” Gabriel was starting to grow mildly concerned. “Are you sick or something? Can Demons even catch colds? I thought your lot were usually the source and not the victims.”

“Itzz not--” They sneezed again. A large glob of snot dribbled out their nose and down their face.

“Bless you. Urg,” he made a face at the weird gooey fluids their body had just expelled. It was _gross_ and not in a way he was used to seeing from them and definitely not in a way he liked, “You know we can just meet another time if you’re not feeling up for it toda--”

“_Stop it!_” They managed to punch him squarely in the arm, before doubling over in a wheezing sneeze.

Gabriel opened his mouth to speak and then closed it again, tilting his head at them curiously. Beelzebub stood back up, sniffed loudly, and wiped away the new mess on their face with their sleeve, glaring at him all the while. His eyes widened and he snapped, piecing the puzzle together with a smile.

“Ah, apologies, it’s...” He did his best to look contrite but was unable to hide his overall amusement, “Reflexive. I should have realized offhanded blessings could affect Demons like, ah, that?”

“You Angelic azzzz, stop making my nose _itch_!” They scrubbed at their nose back and forth with both hands, uselessly trying to work out the blessed ingrained irritation which only caused them to sneeze again.

Gabriel raised his eyebrows, “Bles--”

“Dont you _da_\--" they hissed before sneezing one last time.

**Author's Note:**

> Gabriel wondered if he could smite a demon simply through itchy, polite blessings. Beelzebub warned him about all the future snotty states of his clothing if he were to try.


End file.
